I feel like the worst kinds of people are the ones that don’t give you the benefit of the doubt. People that are quick to label and cut off instead of listening and trying to understand.
I’m sure they think they’re doing the right thing. Punishing someone else for their transgression. I think they think this is better. I wish I could be like them.
But do any of us even remotely understand the complexity of someone else’s existence. The transgressor’s reasons for doing or saying things, do the transgressors know it themselves?
Growing up, one of the biggest problems I’ve had to deal with is my impulsivity and the many misunderstanding that’s brought. I’ve had to live with the intense pain of rejection it brings and I feel quite confident in saying that there aren’t any people I’ve cut off without absolutely hearing out to the fullest extent. Even then, there aren’t people I even consider to be those I’ve ‘cut off’.
I have a feeling this is a common neurodivergent experience. Being misunderstood, being labelled and being rejected for being perceived as someone or something you aren’t.
Most people I fear are living out a life where their outer shell is ductaped from the inside. They’re trying their best. I know I am. And if I know I am, then why not give that benefit to someone else? Why not give them closure?
Does it truly bring you peace knowing you’ve left someone else on an abandoned open loop?
I think about those I’ve lost along the way. I think about them a lot, more than I’d like to. I feel the longing wincing pain. I relive conversations and hope that there’s something I could say to make them understand that I am not who they’ve judged me to be. Who they’ve concluded I am.
As you may have already gathered, this post is a rant born of some personal experience and hurt.
I wish life was Roblox.